Last March, Bijoy Goswami and I sat down for a fascinating (and lengthy) conversation about mental models and bootstrapping at Progress Coffee on Austin’s East Side. The interview was recorded and transcribed, and we’ve broken it up into a four-part series for the blog.

While preparing it for publication, Bijoy and I both felt it was important to stress that the chief mental model being explained here, that of the Maven-Relater-Evangelist, may or may not be useful to you in understanding your own place in the world. The point is not to take Bijoy’s model, or anyone else’s, and indiscriminately apply it to your own life. The point is rather to start thinking about how you might create models  to better understand your own path.

- Sarah

(This interview is cross-posted from the Austin Social Media Club website, where it originally appeared.)

About Bijoy:

Bijoy Goswami was born in Bangalore, India on April 15, 1973, to a Catholic mother and a Hindu father. They moved to Taiwan when he was ten, and Hong Kong when he was fourteen. He came to the U.S. in 1991 to attend Stanford, where he studied Computer Science, Economics, History and inter-disciplinary honors in Science, Technology and Society. He moved to Austin in 1995 to join a software startup. In April, 2000 he co-founded a software company with his friend Bruce Krysiak. In 2003 he began his true work as a model-builder and evangelist.

Bijoy, thanks so much for coming to speak with me today.

Absolutely, thank you.

I have a lot of questions for you. I would love to start off just by talking about mental models and what that means. What are mental models?

Mental models are something we do as humans so much, that we don’t really realize we do it. The problem is that mental models inform everything we do. If you think about any activity that you might do as a human being, there’s a mental model underneath it. Many folks have pointed the importance of mental models: Jean Piaget in education and Peter Senge in business, to name a few. Wikipedia has a nice entry. Whether it’s being a parent, or starting a business, or having a relationship, there’s a mental model that you have about that issue, or that person, activity or or that entity.

I look at the process by which we come up with mental models: how do we articulate those mental models to each other and communicate them, and then where does it go wrong. For example, prejudice is basically a grooved-in mental model that has an incorrect view of reality. As humans we’re constantly trying to make a model of reality through our brain that mediates everything that we do. To me, having better models is what we’re about, to some extent. But because it’s so natural and so ingrained, we don’t think about the fact that this is what we’re doing. My deal is to get people to build really good mental models for themselves, and to help them expose their own thought processes to themselves and others.

Give me an example of a mental model that you’ve created for yourself, and how did it help you?

The easiest one to start with is Maven, Relater, Evangelist: MRE. Meals ready to eat (laughs). That model, number one, says that we’re all different. So it takes the Golden Rule and turns it on its head. Yes, we’re all human, but people have different energies and different locations on this triangle of energy: Maven, Relater, Evangelist. And where you’re situated on that triangle influences your personality, the way you communicate, the way you relate, and so on and so forth. It’s interesting because whenever I present the model to people they say, “But aren’t I all three? I want to be all three!” People have a desire or built-in model that they should be all three, they should be good at all things, whatever those things are. The model is saying people have these different energies. We all do these activities. Just because the maven is living in thought space doesn’t mean they take no actions. But it’s the way that they take action that is important.

So, a model for people could be, “We’re all the same,” which is the Golden Rule. The Golden Rule pops out of a model that says people are all the same. And then you’ve got personality models all along the spectrum. If you march up the hill from one: “We’re all the same,” the most common mental model we use for “We’re different” is men and women. We break up into two categories. Men are this way, women are that way. Clearly that’s a fairly useful model, but it starts running out of steam pretty quickly, especially if you’re trying to talk about our talents, our passions, and what we’re doing. MRE is number three, it has three elements to it. Models like DISC have four. Enneagram has nine. And 16, Myers-Briggs, which is kind of the Microsoft, or the Google, of those (as in the 800 pound gorilla).

Again, the starting point is “Wait a second, people are not the same?” And “Oh yeah, I guess I see the world a certain way and I don’t think about it.” So number one is I’ve got to know myself. Because knowing yourself means you discover what you’re good at and, perhaps more importantly, you discover what you’re not good at.

So did creating that model help you to know where you fell in the model? Or did you already know.

I didn’t know. And I didn’t know the implications of it. Working on the model has helped me work out a number of things within and without myself. So, one of the big implications externally is that you seek out partners. Whatever activity you’re doing, you seek out what I call a “dance partner.” I had been inadvertently finding dance partners in my life, but I hadn’t realized the natural implication of this fact. I had inadvertently been developing what I call my Evangelist/Maven. So on this triangle I’m an Evangelist/Maven, I’m dominated by Evangelist energy, but my minor is Maven. And until then I didn’t have a vocabulary for it. But it’s interesting, back in high school I won the leadership and the academic award…

Uh huh. So there you go.

There you go. It was already there, but no one said “Wow, you’re a great Evangelist, go work on that.” I would take all these leadership roles, I would give lots of talks, do theater, those are all evangelist type of activities. Yet I was very studious. When I compare the two energies, really my Evangelist is my strong one. But not having the awareness that that was going on (a model), I was just good at a lot of things.

It meant that I essentially spent a lot of time exploring avenues that weren’t necessarily useful to explore. And if I knew that, I’d probably be more efficient about the way I went about it. So once I had a model for it, I could place myself in the model and realize I’m not supposed to do everything.

This is Part I of a four-part series. Here’s Part II.

Bijoy’s Amazon list of suggested reading material on mental models can be found here.

Paintings by Tina Schweiger.

If you’re anything like me and you work on your own as a consultant or freelancer, you know how lonely it can be going it alone. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Slowly but surely, over the course of this last year, I’ve created my own personal Board of Directors.

flickr photo by tiarescott

These folks help me, prod me, encourage me, and supplement me. They keep me focused on my goals, and clarify what really matters to me in my business and personal life. Some of these team members might be obvious to you, but others will probably come as a surprise.

I’m sure it isn’t news to you that if you want to have a life of fulfillment you have to achieve balance. A Google search for “life balance” yields over 40 million results. For this post, I decided to break up my board members into three categories: body, mind, and spirit. Balancing these three areas, for me anyway, is the key.

Body:

1. The Massage Therapist
I have slight scoliosis and an ongoing TMJ problem that makes massage therapy nothing short of necessary. However, you don’t have to be in pain to benefit from massage. Healing touch is a powerful force. Every two weeks or so I get to turn off all external interruptions, and allow myself and my broken-down old body to be the focus of attention. Let me just say that again, for emphasis, “I allow myself to be the focus of attention.” It’s even more fabulous that Todd is right in my neighborhood – I love being able to walk to my massage appointment!

flickr photo by tangywolf

2. The Coach
Just this year I started (and stopped, and started again) running. Exercise does not come easily or naturally for me. A friend of mine on Twitter offered to be my coach. He checks in with me, monitors my schedule, makes sure I’m eating right, and harasses encourages me. Having someone out there who yells at me, eggs me on, and tells me what kind of gear to get has been incredibly helpful. I’m running in my first race EVER this year! A 5K in May.

3. The Hair Stylist
Beauty comes from within, but having a great haircut and color doesn’t hurt. The woman who cuts my hair is funny, talented, and can translate my gibberish into a good haircut. Priceless!

Mind:

4. The Sounding Board
Everyone needs people to bounce ideas off of. If you’re in business, especially if you’re in business for yourself, you need someone who understands what you do now and where you want to go. It’s crucial to have colleagues to talk to who are not directly involved in your business matters. Here’s where Twitter, Seesmic, and other Social Networking sites have proved their value. They brought me Phil, and Tracy, and Mike, and Connie, and countless other people out there who I can count on as members of my team.

flickr photo by nathanrussell

5. The Protege
Recently I was approached by someone who asked if I would be his mentor. After picking my jaw up off the floor, I hastily agreed. Most teachers, mentors, bosses, and counselors worth their salt will tell you they learn BUCKETS by teaching and helping other people. I know this is true for me – I learn more about myself and what I think about the world when I’m giving guidance to others.

6. The Role Model
What do you want to be when you grow up? Or, rather, who? Find someone out there who’s doing what you want to do, and doing it the way you want to be doing it, and pay very close attention to them. There’s no shame in following in someone’s footsteps. When I grow up I want to be Mrs. Kennedy.

Spirit:

7. The Jane
Everyone should have a Jane. My Jane is named Jane, but yours could be named Chuck, or Jerome, or Tawanna. He or she could be your aunt or uncle, a family friend, your pediatrician, or your priest. It’s especially good if your Jane has known you for a very, very long time. My Jane has known me for about 20 years. She calls me on my bullshit, but she also sees where I’ve grown and changed. She pulls me aside for long walks when she notices that I’m, shall we say, not making the best choices in life. She sends me little love notes. She looks out for me. I don’t have to talk to my Jane that often. Knowing she’s there is enough. She’s my “In Case of Emergency, Pull This Cord” person.

8. The Club
Yes, you need colleagues and people around you who understand your business and your aspirations. You also need a life. To get a life, I joined a book club. These people have no idea what I do for a living, and no interest in discussing anything web 2.0 related. Every month we read a book, and then we get together and we talk about the book. It’s as simple as that. I found them on meetup.com. Rock climbing, yoga, a capella singers, dog lovers, you name it, they all have clubs on meetup.

flickr photo by webg33k

9. The Cubicle Buddy
No, I don’t work in a cubicle. Neither does my friend Reggie. He’s not even in the same city. But almost every day, he’s there, doing his thing, and I’m here, doing my thing, and if I feel like it, I can say “hey,” and he’ll almost always say “hey” back. If it’s a crap day, he cheers me up, and vice versa. Mostly he just cracks me up, and I love him for it. We communicate via IM, which works great – it’s almost like peeking over my cubicle wall and grinning at him, except we do it with smiley icons.

This is not an exhaustive list by any means, I have a massive Board of Directors, but these are some of the key players. My goal for this year is to add one very specific member: my own mentor. This is not to be confused with a role model. Role models don’t actually have to communicate with you to be on your Board, after all. As I move into consulting as a career, and away from freelance writing and editing, I’m keeping my eye out for someone who works in my field and is willing to give me guidance, on a regular basis. I’ll keep you posted.

So, who’s on your Board? Who’s missing? Are you balancing these three areas of your life? Are you asking for help from the people around you?

I took a cue from the Happiness Project website, and wrote out Four Commandments for myself. These are ideas I carry around with me anyway, but it helped to distill my values down to four basic principles for living. They are:

1. be present. now is everything.

2. speak up. speak the truth.

3. love God, love your neighbor.

4. act rather than react.

1. be present. now is everything.

The first commandment, to be “present”, is lifted from Buddhism, and is hardly a new concept to me, or I’m sure to you. There are lots of gurus around who preach the message of “Be Here Now,” so it might seem like a horrible cliche, but it’s still damn good advice. What you have, right now, where you are, who you are with, what you are doing, that is ALL THERE IS. The past is done and gone, the future is unkown and unknowable, out of your control. Worrying about the future, regretting past actions; this all keeps me from truly experiencing joy in the present moment, here, writing these words.

2. speak up. speak the truth.

This comes directly from personal work I’ve done this year on speaking my mind, speaking up for myself, being honest in my encounters with everyone, and most importantly (and trickiest), NOT WITHHOLDING. I’m excellent at keeping my thoughts to myself. Sometimes I do this to avoid conflict, sometimes as a way of manipulating the situation. Either way, it always gets me in trouble. Being honest isn’t just speaking the truth, sometimes it’s simply speaking out loud when you’d rather be silent.

3. love God, love your neighbor.

I stole this from a sermon given by one of our priests a year or two ago. It is a distillation of Jesus’ response to the question posed to him in Matthew 22:

‘Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?’ (Jesus) said to him, ‘ “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.” On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.’

That pretty much stopped the Pharisees cold. Jesus and I are like this, which is not something I talk a lot about, or advertise, but it does inform all of my actions and beliefs.

4. act rather than react.

In chemistry, an explosion is caused by a chemical reaction, say, potassium metal and bromine for example. I used to be very, very good at bringing my bromine to your potassium metal party. In other words, if you pushed my buttons, I would react accordingly. Ah, more personal work reveals itself! (It’s been that kind of year.) I am learning, in what some people might describe as a painfully slow process, that I can in fact control my reactions to situations, and leave my bromine at home. Now I show up, take a look at your potassium metal, say “Oh, how interesting!”, and wander into the kitchen to help myself to a piece of carrot cake. So much better that way!

Flickr photo “NYC – New York Public Library Main Building: McGraw Rotunda – The Story of the Recorded Word – Moses with the Tablets of Law” by wallyg.

I have a to do list. I suspect most of you do too. I also suspect most of you have a couple of items on your to do list that keep getting magically pushed forward to tomorrow. And then tomorrow again. And then maybe next week. For me, a major item on my to do list has been to launch a website which includes a daily blog, some information about me, and thoughts about what I can do for you.

I’ve been blogging since 2002, but I’ve recently taken an extended vacation from this activity. That blog was more personal in nature – thoughts about my friends and family (i.e., rants about my mother), life as a parent, politics, the strange and wonderful place I live called Texas, and the like. As my working life has become more and more about online content and consulting, I’ve thought often about creating a more “professional” blog, but when I actually tried to imagine what this blog would be about, I got stuck. This morning a little voice in my head said: just write it. (Actually, it said something more like, “just write it, dumbass.”)

Maybe, JUST MAYBE, it’s better to get something out there and keep improving on it, than to stay stuck in my little mouse hole, peering up at the dark sky, waiting for the perfect alignment of the planets. Maybe.

Flickr photo “Day 092/366 – To Do List” by Great Beyond