I took a cue from the Happiness Project website, and wrote out Four Commandments for myself. These are ideas I carry around with me anyway, but it helped to distill my values down to four basic principles for living. They are:

1. be present. now is everything.

2. speak up. speak the truth.

3. love God, love your neighbor.

4. act rather than react.

1. be present. now is everything.

The first commandment, to be “present”, is lifted from Buddhism, and is hardly a new concept to me, or I’m sure to you. There are lots of gurus around who preach the message of “Be Here Now,” so it might seem like a horrible cliche, but it’s still damn good advice. What you have, right now, where you are, who you are with, what you are doing, that is ALL THERE IS. The past is done and gone, the future is unkown and unknowable, out of your control. Worrying about the future, regretting past actions; this all keeps me from truly experiencing joy in the present moment, here, writing these words.

2. speak up. speak the truth.

This comes directly from personal work I’ve done this year on speaking my mind, speaking up for myself, being honest in my encounters with everyone, and most importantly (and trickiest), NOT WITHHOLDING. I’m excellent at keeping my thoughts to myself. Sometimes I do this to avoid conflict, sometimes as a way of manipulating the situation. Either way, it always gets me in trouble. Being honest isn’t just speaking the truth, sometimes it’s simply speaking out loud when you’d rather be silent.

3. love God, love your neighbor.

I stole this from a sermon given by one of our priests a year or two ago. It is a distillation of Jesus’ response to the question posed to him in Matthew 22:

‘Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?’ (Jesus) said to him, ‘ “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.” On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.’

That pretty much stopped the Pharisees cold. Jesus and I are like this, which is not something I talk a lot about, or advertise, but it does inform all of my actions and beliefs.

4. act rather than react.

In chemistry, an explosion is caused by a chemical reaction, say, potassium metal and bromine for example. I used to be very, very good at bringing my bromine to your potassium metal party. In other words, if you pushed my buttons, I would react accordingly. Ah, more personal work reveals itself! (It’s been that kind of year.) I am learning, in what some people might describe as a painfully slow process, that I can in fact control my reactions to situations, and leave my bromine at home. Now I show up, take a look at your potassium metal, say “Oh, how interesting!”, and wander into the kitchen to help myself to a piece of carrot cake. So much better that way!

Flickr photo “NYC – New York Public Library Main Building: McGraw Rotunda – The Story of the Recorded Word – Moses with the Tablets of Law” by wallyg.